Wednesday, November 2, 2005
“There’s a truck coming!”
The woman shouted from behind me, as I was taking a photo from the middle of the street.
I thought I had my kinesthetic orientation and risk-reward assessment in check and under control, but her sudden screech threw me off, driving me to scurry forward to the other side.
As a result I bumped into another pedestrian who was crossing from the opposite direction, who likewise seemed to have been rattled, startled, jolted into action by the fear and blurt of this lady’s voice. Of course, bumping midway only abetted our surprise and fear, so we did a fancy sashay around each other, practically tripping over one another in the process.
I continued walking briskly immediately thereafter up Sixth Avenue and didn’t bother to look back to see how close we actually had been to being hit, struck down, crushed by the speeding vehicle that had prompted the concerned stranger to yell Atchung!
Alas, I did once again have to wonder why I put myself in danger so often these days. For I foolishly have convinced myself that I am agile enough to avoid an accident. Yet, at the same time, I always end up questioning the sagacity of this reasoning—close-calls almost always put me in a polemic, so that on one hand, I’m grinning with glee as I narcissistically congratulate myself on being so brave. But on the other hand, I also think, “Boy, you’re really stupid! You’re a real knave mate.”
And almost every time I also find myself convinced that I have to quit this game I am plying with my life, berating both my id and ego with “Now, this is the last time you two! No more monkey business.”
Only problem is that I’m all too human, and boredom follows me everywhere—so that everywhere I go, ennui seems to go there with me. Hence, my futile attempts to shake her by jumping into the middle of traffic, dodging busses and running along skateboards to get some stupid picture.
They say luck is a lady. If that’s true than I love her and I feel that she loves me, but that doesn’t mean that she ain’t going to leave me someday.
On the other hand, I never knew photography could be so fun, so fulfilling, invigorating and utterly—life affirming.
Bless those who might be inspired by these words (just don’t blame me if you get mowed over…)