Thursday, December 31, 2009

NEW YEAR'S EVE BLUE FULL MOON FLASH MOB PARTY TONIGHT! 2010 New Year’s Eve Meet & Howl at Midnight, Sheep’s Meadow, Central Park, NYC!

NEW YEAR'S EVE BLUE FULL MOON FLASH MOB PARTY TONIGHT! 2010 New Year’s Eve Meet & Howl at Midnight, Sheep’s Meadow, Central Park, NYC!
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

New York City, December 31, 2009:

FLASH MOB PARTY TONIGHT! 2010 New Year’s Eve Meet & Howl at Midnight, Sheep’s Meadow, Central Park, NYC, under a rare Blue Full Moon!

As you may already know, tonight there will be a rare Blue Full Moon, which will be at its apex around midnight. The next Blue Moon on New Year’s Eve will not come around for another 29 years on December 31, 2028. I don't know about you, but I will be 71 by then, and likely not living in New York City anymore.

Thus, on this beautiful and rare occasion, I’m proposing we do something extra ordinary.


Every year, for some forty odd-something years, this day rolls around and I’m usually at a loss for how I want to celebrate New Year’s Eve.

By now, I know I don’t want to be at a club— it’s ludicrously too expensive, I know I won’t be able to get my money’s worth at the open bar, and I’ve been there, done that, one too many times.

I also know I don’t really want to drudge about in the snow in the streets of New York City, trying to hail a taxi in the freezing cold, ruthlessly competing against an onslaught of inebriated, and often belligerent, revelers.

Finally, what I do know and I am most certain of, is that New Year’s Eve has always been best celebrated amongst good, fun, and often, crazy friends. Because ultimately, it doesn’t matter what or where or why you are doing what you are doing, when you are with them.

Thus, I’m organizing a ku-razy, “somewhat”-spontaneous flashmob get-together in the snow, to howl at the biggest, baddest and bluest moon you’ll likely ever see in your lifetime at midnight, in the middle of Central Park, directly beneath the fullest moon of your lifetime.

We’ll meet at Sheep Meadow, directly across from the lights Tavern on the Green, which, by the way, will be lit for the last time tonight.

So, bring a bottle of bubbly, your snow boots, good cheer and be ready to howl at the moon.


Tonight, New Year’s Eve, December 31, 2009

Where & When:

Meet at Sheep’s Meadow in Central Park, across from Tavern on the Green,
at 67th St & Central Park West, NYC.

Forecast: Slight chance of snow, 34

Monday, December 7, 2009

Subway Stories: Photos from the New York City Subway

Subway Stories: Photos from the New York City Subway
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

December 7, 2009, New York City

JUST PUBLISHED! Subway Stories: Photos from the New York City Subway

100 photographs of New Yorkers sleeping, reading, and riding on the New York City Subway, taken from 2005 – 2009.

View a flickr slideshow of all the photos in the book. PC users click on F11 for the full screen effect.

See a low-resolution preview the entire actual book. Click on Full Screen at the top right corner for the best view and click directly on the page to peruse the book.

Buy the book as a holiday gift for your favorite New York City or street photography fan!
Click HERE to purchase Subway Stories.


Thursday, November 19, 2009

One Year Anniversary & Website Revival for

New Photo for
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

In celebration of the one year anniversary of the book and website launch for 25 Lessons I’ve Learned (about photography), we’ve redesigned the website,

Please take a look!


25 LESSONS I'VE LEARNED(about photography)
In his best-selling book, Lorenzo describes how the deceptively simple rules of photography can also be applied to the art of living. Inspirational and poetic, this book will not only spark readers’ creative energies, but also reawaken your passion for life.

In 2005, as a husband, father, and corporate employee — Lorenzo's life revolved around home, work, and his daily commute from the suburbs to the city.

Then, one day, he found himself staying at the Little Church in midtown Manhattan in the wake of a marital separation. Living in virtual isolation for three months, he had a rare chance to re-examine his life. Quite unexpectedly, he found himself wandering around the city to take photographs, a passion he had let slide in the years of pursuing a career and starting a family. During his nightly sojourns through the streets of New York City, he was reminded of some important life lessons—lessons too easily forgotten in the blur of everyday existence.

“In many of my conversations on great photographers, I frequently mention Lorenzo’s work. His sequential photographs…are nothing less that a visual urban poem. It has been my pleasure to watch Lorenzo’s rapid growth as a leading photographer of our time.” Jim Van Meter, Rochester, NY, USA

“Lorenzo is a master. His body of work is some of the very best online and may very well be some of the best being done in the medium today. His street work follows in the tradition of Paul Strand, Cartier-Bresson, Garry Winogrand and Larry Friedlander. Lorenzo’s 25 Lessons are…as seminal as Ansel’s dissertation on the zone system. I found them to be reenergizing, perceptive and extremely useful. I have been touched by his story, his writings and by his work. I can’t imagine anyone not being so.” Barry Shapiro, Los Angeles, CA, USA

“Lorenzo…has a passion for life, photography and writing. He is a linguistic genius, a storyteller through words and pictures. He captures with his camera the world as he sees it, its feelings, love, beauty and all it has to offer...” Brenda George, Adelaide, Australia


Lorenzo is a foremost expert and author on street photography, and an award-winning street photographer himself.

As the Photography Examiner for New York for the, Lorenzo chronicles what’s up, what’s new and what’s notable in the world of photography in New York City.

In 2008, he was chosen to be the HP Be Brilliant Featured Artist and he became the best-selling author of 25 Lessons I’ve Learned (about photography).

Since taking up digital photography in 2005, his photography has been featured in fotoMAGAZIN, Germany's premier photo magazine, and his photos have been cited, posted and published by over 330 other blogs, websites, and print publications.

Today, Lorenzo has over 30,000 photographs published on—one of the world's most popular photography websites—where his photos have been seen over 5.5 million times and where he ranks as one of the site's most popular photographers. He has been called an "Internet photography sensation" by Time Out New York and is considered a "Flickr star" by Rob Walker, Consumed columnist, for New York Times Magazine.

Interview with Sally Golan of Celebrity Wire

Interview with Paul Giguere

Interview with Bill Hector Weye and Sandra Pipczynski.

Friday, August 7, 2009

The Prince and an ATM at the Sunshine Hotel

The Prince, an ATM at the Sunshine Hotel in the Bowery: The Number of Homeless Veterans Plunges at City Shelters
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

Last month I read a disturbing article in one of the major psychiatry journals that summarized the findings of a study which interviewed a couple of thousand people who were chronically homeless (over six months) in New York City.

I was shocked to learn that of the subjects that were successfully interviewed something like 25% were veterans with the average age being over 70.

A report released in 2007 by the National Alliance to End Homelessness (NAEH), stated that veterans are twice as likely as other Americans to be chronically homeless.

And according to a recent statement by Robert V. Hess, New York City’s commissioner of homeless services, in June of this year, there are roughly 150,000 homeless veterans in the United States on any given day.

Although slightly lower, the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs likewise estimates that 131,000 veterans are homeless every night, which is significantly lower than what they reported in 2005 when they estimated that 194,254 homeless people out of 744,313 on any given night were veterans.

The VA sums up the situation as follows: “The nation's homeless veterans are mostly males (four percent are females). The vast majority are single, most come from poor, disadvantaged communities, 45 percent suffer from mental illness, and half have substance abuse problems. America’s homeless veterans have served in World War II, Korean War, Cold War, Vietnam War, Grenada, Panama, Lebanon, Operation Enduring Freedom (Afghanistan), Operation Iraqi Freedom, or the military’s anti-drug cultivation efforts in South America. 47 percent of homeless veterans served during the Vietnam Era. More than 67 percent served our country for at least three years and 33 percent were stationed in a war zone.”

Needless to say, homelessness amongst veterans is a significant concern.

There seemingly is hope however; as Mr. Hess also recently announced that the New York City Department of Homeless Services reduced the number of veterans living in city shelters by 60 percent from December 2006 to May 2009. He claims that this was a result of the task force that was created in December of 2006 to begin moving homeless veterans into permanent housing.

Mr. Hess tempered his remarks by adding, “But I realize that what works in New York City will not work everywhere. There cannot be a one-size-fits-all approach.”

That said, the outlook still looks fairly positive, considering that 20 years ago the VA estimated number of veterans who were homeless on any given night was 250,000, which means that the number has almost been cut in half in the last two decades.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

my photos on getty images

my photos on getty images
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

Today, I am celebrating, because much like many of my fellow good flickr members I finally made the effort to make the most of an outstanding invitation from Getty Images to contribute to the flickr collection on their reputable website.

Take a look, I think you'll like what you see!

My Photos on Getty Images

Thursday, June 25, 2009

A New Studio Grows in Brooklyn—Tonight!

Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

Originally published on

Tonight, Thursday, June 25, Resource Magazine is celebrating the release of its Summer 2009 issue, as well as the grand opening of Root Brooklyn, DRIVEIN24’s brand new studio space.

This exciting event will include a photo shoot featuring Profoto equipment, renowned DJs, ice sculpture from Set In Ice, a sponsored open bar, and contributors’ gifts.

Profoto will provide an intricate set where a photo booth will be set up. People will be able to get photographed and leave with a copy of the image at the end of the night.

The video trailer on the website touts that half of Brooklyn will be at the party.

The party starts at 7pm and goes until just past midnight.

The festivities will be held at Root Brooklyn located at 131 North 14th Street (between Wythe and Kent Avenues in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, New York City

About Root Brooklyn
Root Brooklyn offers studio rental, location equipment, and full service digital capture to the photography industry. The space encompasses a 20,000 square foot, single story warehouse and 1,000 square feet of outdoor space.

About Resource Magazine
Resource Magazine is a quarterly publication dedicated to the sub-culture of the photo production industry. It explores all facets of the business, from the mundane to the illustrious.

For More Information

Monday, June 15, 2009

Reflections on Art: The Movie

Reflections on Art: The Movie
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

My awesome new friend, the artist McKenzie Stubbert, otherwise known as In Transit here on flickr, made a video out of my most recent street photography set, Reflections on Art.

Much appreciation goes out to him and his efforts.

Check it out!

Monday, March 2, 2009

Life Without Limbs: Nick Vujicic

Life Without Limbs: Nick Vujicic
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

Never Give Up
New York City, March 2, 2009:

With the help of his older brother, my youngest son, Nicky, created a posthumous certificate of appreciation for Helen Keller this weekend.

It reads, “This certificate is awarded to Helen Keller for being a good woman and teaching other blind and deaf people.”

He wasn’t exactly sure why his first grade class had this project, so I inferred that the teacher wanted them to appreciate someone who made the most of her life and inspired millions, despite not having some of the senses most of us take for granted.

During hard times like these I think it is a good example to be reminded of, because everyday it seems that I know of more and more people who are losing their jobs, homes and sense of self-worth.

Thus, it is good to be reminded that despite the circumstances, despite one’s suddenly inability to pay the bills, despite the devastation and losses that some people are having to endure, one must never give up.

Because there are and have been many people who either have had far less than we have or were up against far greater odds, and yet they never gave up and ultimately, they were able to lead extraordinary lives, much like Helen Keller.

This morning my dear mother sent me a video about one such fellow by the name of Nick Vujicic who declares “I have no limbs, but I have my little chicken drumstick.” This 25 year old man was born without arms or legs, but managed nonetheless to pull himself up (literally) from what most of us might imagine is a condition of permanent despair, and has been able to turn his blight into a marvelous blessing and incredibly inspiring message that he now carries as a missionary across the world.

Take just two minutes to watch this short video and you’ll immediately see what I mean:
Are you going to finish strong?

If you're as inspired to know more as I was, I recommend watching this Australian 60 Minutes segment about his life story: “ No Limbs, No Limits” (running time: 13:34).

Here are some transcript excerpts:

Peter Overton: This 25-year-old Australian is climbing over every obstacle life puts in front of him and he's doing it with style. You really can do anything, can't you?

Nick Vujicic: Well, there's no harm in believing so. Everybody's going through something, you know, we are all going through something. It's just my pain is a bit more visible than yours or somebody else. When that clicked, it was like a light bulb went... ..just flashed in my brain. I'm like "Hey, now life I see as an opportunity." "This circumstance, there's gotta be something good."

Peter Overton: No arms, no legs...

Nick Vujicic: No worries, mate!


Peter Overton: Do you pray for arms and legs?

Nick Vujicic: Every now and then I do, I do pray for arms and legs. I do have faith that God can, right now in front of us, just come down with his light or whatever and bang! I have arms and legs. But the joy of having no limbs and being able to be used in such a unique way and powerful way for people like... you can't give me any amount of money to even consider taking a magical pill to have arms and legs right now. I am here tonight to tell you this - that no matter who you are no matter what you are going through that God knows it, he is with you, he is going to pull you through.

If you want to contact Nick, or find out more information please visit the website:


Other Inspiring Stories About Some Who Never Gave Up

Helen Keller, both blind and deaf for most of her life, yet went on to become one of the most inspirational and accomplished figures of our time.
Harvey Milk, martyr, revolutionary and social activist who led the way for gay rights and equal political representation.
Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of the United States who was self-taught and led the fight against slavery.
Christopher Reeve, best known for his portrayal of Superman, he was paralyzed after a horse riding accident, but preserved for almost ten more years, championing the cause for people with spinal cord injuries and human embryonic stem cell research.
Stephen Hawking, despite being stricken with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, which has left him almost completely paralyzed, he is a world-renowned theoretical physicist and a record-breaking best selling author.
Randy Pausch, author of The Last Lecture, who knew he was dying from pancreatic cancer, and decided to make the most of his last days by leaving behind an inspiring lecture of hope about “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams.”
Jill Bolte Taylor, a neurologist who was able to “observe” her own stroke as it happened, and after recovering, went on to share her inspiring insights gained from her experience.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

My First Day on the Job! Photography Examiner for New York City

My First Day on the Job! Photography Examiner for New York City
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

My First Day on the Job!
February 26, 2009, New York City:

Hello Fellow New Yorkers!

This morning I took a quiz at that asked “What Kind of Photographer Are You?”

Although I’ve been an avid New York City street photographer for almost five years now, today I begin my job as the Photography Examiner for New York, for the Hence, I was eager to see if the quiz agreed with me and my new avocation.

I’m happy to report that the results indicate that I'd be happiest being a "Photo Journalist,” explaining “You are never happier than when you are in the thick of humanity and documenting all of it. You like to observe the world around you. You sometimes shoot at chaotic moments and love it.”

I couldn’t agree more and thus I hereby present my credentials to you below and look forward to bringing to you what’s up, what’s new and what’s notable in the world of photography in New York City!

If you have any photography news leads and stories (about yourself, about others) please write me at I look forward to hearing from you.

If you are interested in taking the photography quiz at, click on the following:
What Kind of Photographer Are You?

Tonight I’m attending a photography art opening at the Daneyal Mahmood Gallery in Chelsea. DM is presenting Oil Evolution by Andrei Molodkin, commemorating the 200th anniversary of Charles Darwin's birth.

I’m hoping to have a good story to present to you tomorrow.


Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Happiness, Falling From The Sky

Happiness, Falling From The Sky
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

1. From Mud to Men 033, 2. From Mud to Men 001, 3. From Mud to Men 026, 4. Mude Mites (One for Rusty Rabbit), 5. The Mud Mites, 6. From Mud to Men 040


New York City, NY February 24, 2009 — Backyard, San Jose, CA, circa 1975:

There's been a lot of ballyhoo lately over the little-film-that-could from Bollywood.

Ever since Slumdog Millionaire won eight Oscars, including Best Picture, two nights ago, the media has had a field day with this rags-to-riches story of many levels.

For not only does the movie tell the tale of a boy who makes it out of the slums by ultimately beating a conniving game show host at his own game, but the film was also made on a “shoestring” budget—a mere $13 million, a tenth of the cost of its cinematic rival "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button."

Whether or not the movie actually merits these coveted gold statuettes may be debated for some time to come. Personally, I thought the movie was “okay.” However, I found the real-life story of how it was made with real people, who live in real squalor, much more intriguing.

I hope with the spurt of media coverage on the impoverished areas where the movie was filmed that people in Western society will get some insight into how a lot of the world lives, and in turn realize how lucky we have it, despite our current maelstrom of economic worries and woes.

This morning, I read a version of an article that the Metro picked up off the wire from AP. The excerpt is titled “The Oscar goes to…India” and is pared down to a cheery summary, ending with a quote from one of the neighbors of the child stars. As he watched his little friend strut the red carpet on a television set that was being shared in a dirt yard with a dozen other people, Sohail Qureshi told a reporter “It seems like happiness is falling from the sky.”

I was touched by this expression of genuine glee and in a moment of make-believe, it made me feel that all of a sudden a whole country was happy for one of its own.

Or at least, that’s what the media would make us believe. For if you read the whole story below, you’ll see that the real picture is a bit gloomier. Following is an excerpt:

“If the Oscar excitement brought a sheen of glamour to the community, it vanished Monday shortly after the final award was announced.

The journalists left, the dancing stopped and life pressed on as always. The sweatshop men hunched over humming sewing machines. Squatting children relieved themselves by the train tracks. Mothers washed their dishes in murky water.

"I am poor," Fakrunissa Sheikh, 40, said inside her lean-to next to Azhar's.

About 65 million Indians -- roughly a quarter of the urban population -- live in slums, according to government surveys. Health care is often nonexistent, child labour is rampant and inescapable poverty forms the backdrop of everyday life.”


That said, I still think there is something to be said about the revelry amidst the ruins.

Like I’ve written elsewhere (see Pocket Change: Let’s Start A Revolution), once pulled out of poverty, studies have shown that it doesn’t make a difference if you’ve got $100,000 or $100 million, because ultimately happiness is determined by making the most of what you’ve got; it is a matter of attitude and gratitude, not simply means.

Thus, even though these people face poverty that many of us will never know, somehow they found time to have fun and be happy for one of their friends, regardless of their circumstances.

I grew up playing in empty dirt lots and on train tracks, the concept of the Gymboree did not even exist; I drank water from garden hoses, which we used to fill a shallow dirt hole in backyard, so that my cousins and I could roll around like swine and mud wrestle; I caught butterflies and bugs with my bare hands and kept them in old Mason jars, the lid of which I poked holes in with a number 2 lead pencil. Point is, I didn’t have much growing up, but somehow, with a little imagination, my childhood friends and I made it work, we were authentically happy, if not often overjoyed.

I’ve observed this basic principle many times over the last nine years watching my own children, who have had as much fun playing in the mud as I did 34 years ago. In fact, my two rambunctious boys seem to have much more fun with empty appliance boxes, string, and sticks than with the treasure trove of plastic Christmas and birthday gifts they have stored and largely untouched in a sprawling playroom in the basement. Their favorite game of late has been hide-and-go-seek and it honestly amazes me how they all hide in the same places over and over again, but somehow they exuberantly can play the game for hours.

Point is, when it comes to happiness, less is truly more. If you can be happy with yourself, the little you’ve got and the people you are fortunate enough to share it with, than you can be as happy as anyone else in the world.

I think the last line of the article below sums it up the best for me:
"When she comes back," Saba said, "we will have the biggest party."

Yeah Saba!

Oscar celebrations fill Mumbai's crowded slums
(From The Associated Press, Mon. Feb. 23 2009)

MUMBAI, India -- In the narrow lanes behind the Mumbai train tracks, the slum's first Oscar party turned into a raucous celebration of two hometown heroes, complete with Bollywood dance moves and squeals of joy from old friends.

Every time the big-eyed girl who calls this slum home appeared on TV, her friends gawked, beamed, shouted -- and danced.

Rubina Ali, nine, was plucked from the tin roof shack she shares with her parents and six siblings in this squalid Mumbai slum to star in "Slumdog Millionaire," the darling of this year's Academy Awards.

Her friend and neighbour, Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail, 10, was also chosen for the film, and both were flown to Los Angeles to watch "Slumdog" nab eight Academy Awards, including the Oscars' highest honour for best film.

Crowds gathered around the few television sets in the slum and it took barely a minute for word of each award to spread through the slum's winding lanes.

"It seems like happiness is falling from the sky," said Sohail Qureshi, a neighbour who said he had watched Rubina grow up.

The Bandra slum could not be farther from the Hollywood glitz, stretch limousines and designer dresses of the Oscars.

Azhar lives in a lean-to made of plastic tarpaulins and mouldy blankets. Rubina's home is perched above an ocean of trash. Dirty train tracks and a clogged highway form the slum's borders.

Hordes of journalists descended on the neighbourhood Monday. TV tripods straddled the thin stream of sewage outside Rubina's home while rows of satellite trucks idled outside a usually sleepy tea stall.

"Normally, no one talks to us and no one comes here, but now everyone is here," Mohammed Ismail, Azhar's father, said before a bouquet of flashing bulbs.

If the Oscar excitement brought a sheen of glamour to the community, it vanished Monday shortly after the final award was announced.

The journalists left, the dancing stopped and life pressed on as always. The sweatshop men hunched over humming sewing machines. Squatting children relieved themselves by the train tracks. Mothers washed their dishes in murky water.

"I am poor," Fakrunissa Sheikh, 40, said inside her lean-to next to Azhar's.

About 65 million Indians -- roughly a quarter of the urban population -- live in slums, according to government surveys. Health care is often nonexistent, child labour is rampant and inescapable poverty forms the backdrop of everyday life.

Although everyone from the local butcher to the prime minister called the Oscar coup a proud day for the country, "Slumdog Millionaire" was hardly a phenomenon with Indian audiences.

"Hit in the West, flop in the East," read a front page headline in DNA's Sunday newspaper. The film was a tough sell in Indian movie theatres because it was largely in English, featured few giant stars, and skimped on the dance numbers.

Many people here also objected to its gritty portrayal of India, as well as its title, which some took as derogatory. The film sparked protests in Mumbai and at least one north Indian city by slum residents who said the movie demeaned the poor.

"No one can call me a dog," Sheikh said Monday. "I work very hard."

A widow and mother of seven, Sheikh is a housekeeper who said she earns 600 rupees (US$15) a week.

She said the movie has been good for the families of Azhar and Rubina, but that her days are as difficult as ever.

"Look at my house," she said, pointing to the walls made of rags and the mud floor covered with a thin plastic tarp. "What has changed?"

The "Slumdog" filmmakers said they wrestled with the complications of working with children from impoverished families. Danny Boyle -- who won the Oscar for best director -- and producer Christian Colson decided to help Azhar and Rubina by securing them spots in Aseema, a nonprofit, English-language school in Mumbai.

Rubina's parents were thrilled with Boyle and his team.

"Whatever a parent could have done, they have done much more than that," Rafiq Qureshi said during the run-up to the awards.

Neighbours said they were nothing but happy for the child actors.

"It's Rubina's fate," said Mohammed Muzzammil, 22. "We don't want anything from her success."

Rubina's best friend Saba Qureshi wants something, however -- lots of stories and pictures from Los Angeles.

"My eyes couldn't believe that I was seeing Rubina in America," said Saba, who led her sisters in Bollywood dance numbers throughout the morning. "She looked like an angel."

"When she comes back," Saba said, "we will have the biggest party."

Friday, February 13, 2009

Opening The Big Black Box: Being Inspired by Worm Carnivale

Opening The Big Black Box: Being Inspired by Worm Carnivale
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

Lately, I’ve felt as if I’ve been stuck in a big black box.

Last night, that box opened up a little for me.

For I went to visit Worm Carnevale, a 26 year old photographer who now lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, after recently migrating here from Delray Beach, Florida six months ago.

For a few hours, we talked about why and how he got to be here in The Big Apple.

Overall, his enthusiasm reminded me of my own journey here to New York City 15 years ago, when I was 26 myself.

I too had that certain twinkle in my eye, and often felt high, if only because I was living in New York City.

I too was fired up to make a fresh start.

And, I too had been motivated to make the move because I had come to the conclusion that there is more to life than simply making money and then spending it.


Born and raised in Delray Beach, Florida in 1983, Jae Basch took on the persona of “Worm Carnivale” after being inspired to pursue his newfound passion for photography when he was at a local party and started flipping through Heaven to Hell, a book of photographs by David LaChaplle, a fashion, advertising, and fine art photographer and filmmaker who is well known for his gritty, surreal, and often humorous work.

“Yeah man, I was looking through this book and I was completely blown away by how much LaChaplle’s style mimicked those dreams I had been having since I was a child. That’s when it occurred to me that this was my next step in life, this is what I had to do.”

Worm explained that he had been working in commercial real estate for five years and had grown tired of the empty feeling he was left with at the end of the day. “For a while the money was great and I was living large, but there was still something missing, because I wasn’t being fulfilled. Then a year and half ago the market took a turn, real estate started to tank and I was prompted to ask myself ‘What next?’ That’s when God spoke to me as I was peeling through Heaven to Hell. That’s when I knew I was destined to become a photographer.”

Shortly after his epiphany he made the decision to just jump right into it. “Two weeks later I began to buy photo equipment. I had no clue what to do, so I just started doing it—learning by trial and error, internet research, and picking everybody’s brain.”

300 photo shoots and a year and a half later he found himself here in Brooklyn, a bohemian artist making the most of his youth, exuberance and homegrown values like hard work and dedication.

“I’m proud of my Italian heritage. I grew up in a loving household of all women, my mother and my sisters. Our mother and my grandfather, Bob Carnevale, both instilled deeply religious and sound morals, and a love for our family that involved pasta and big meals every Sunday. They also instilled the belief that one should be open-minded. Maybe that’s why I haven’t exactly followed the beaten path.”

To get to New York, Worm had to first drop out of high school and eventually go back to school at a community college to get his high school diploma. He initially left high school because he found that he liked working, writing graphic design code for a company, far more than he liked studying.

He was so successful at programming that he was lured over to a client real estate company to write code and be their tech support guru. After a year or so of fortifying their technology it was suggested that he could make more money applying his talent to the business side of the company.

“I did end up making more money, but once again, at the end of the day I just wasn’t fulfilled. So, now here I am, living day by day, penny by penny, just making enough to barely pay the bills, but at the same time I’m far more fulfilled than I have ever been before.”


Reinforcing this truism, I happened to read an article this morning on, about a couple who have hit hard times in Florida, forcing the wife to move away in search of work. As a result, she was reminded of all the truly important things in life, including the fact that money mongering was not one of them.

At one point she was making $95,000 a year, but then she was laid off. This led to depression and tension with her husband. Eventually, she decided to seek work, alone, 1200 miles away.

So, “she paid $250 in cash for a 1991 Nissan and moved into a utilities-included apartment, where she slept at first on an air-mattress with borrowed sheets. She combed through the free furniture listings on Craigslist, and scoured Goodwill and cheaper outlets for good deals. She found a couch and chair for $25, and artwork for $7.

‘You have to be at the bottom to find out what your strengths are,’ she says of her resourcefulness. ‘Pure determination got me here, and I'm really proud of it, too.’"

(Long distance love and life lessons,, February 12, 2009)


Throughout our conversation Worm liked to support his thoughts with quotes from people who inspired him like Martin Scorsese, who he had once heard advocate the importance of shameless self promotion, especially when you’re just starting out.

Worm also told me about a popular quote from Jim Jarmusch that inspired him, “Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination...And don ’t bother concealing your thievery—celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: ‘It’s not where you take things from—it’s where you take them to.’”

However, the quote that most inspired me, and that opened up the big black box I’ve been stuck in, was from the late and great comedian, George Carlin, whose irreverent words of wisdom have long enlightened millions, if only by e-mail.

Worm told me that he was most inspired when he read that George had said “The key to my success is that I never stopped working,” that is, at least until his heart stop working on June 22 last year, when he died of heart failure, leaving this world to join that big comedy club in the sky.

Until that fateful moment, he had had a prolific 50-year career on earth that testified to his work ethic—one which included 130 Tonight Show appearances, 23 albums, 14 HBO specials, three books, and one Supreme Court case. (For more information read, George Carlin’s Last Interview, Psychology Today, June 23, 2008).

Like Worm, George too was a high school drop out, but somehow, despite not following the prescribed path, he ended up being one of the most influential stand-up comedians of the last fifty years.

Listening to the genuine enthusiasm in Worm’s voice as he spoke about who and what have inspired him, piqued me in such a way that I suddenly felt as my black cloud was lifting; as if the big black box I've been brooding in suddenly opened and let a little light in.

For I was reminded of my own work ethic, one that likewise has compelled me to create incessantly, to write hundreds of essays and a million pieces of verse over the last ten years, as well as take and edit over 28,000 photos over the last three years.

Thus, I suddenly realized that my woes were grounded in my recent spat of apathy.

With the onset of winter and the completion of my first solo show and the publication of a number of books, I simply stopped taking pictures and wrote very little as well in turn. As a result, I’ve felt sad more often than usual the last couple of months, and thus I’ve done little to hone my understanding of the art of happiness.

But then, being inherently restless as I am, after this grave hiatus I began to think “What next?” That’s when I got the idea of creating portraits of fellow aspiring artists and posted an ad online. And that’s what brought me to a small hole of a room at the edge of Brooklyn last night, so that I could have a conversation with Worm.


I suppose than, that it is no wonder that I noticed that there was more sunshine than usual streaming through my bedroom window this morning.

Perhaps it is a sign that things will always get better, if only we keep trying, or rather, if we only keep working without worrying about who or what or when will come our next source of inspiration.

Because last night I was reminded why it is important to just do itfor it shall come.

"Inspiration is for amateurs. I just get to work."
Chuck Close

Check out Worm Carnevale’s work at

Thursday, February 12, 2009


Happy Birthday Abe!
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
Abraham Lincoln

Abe was born on this day, February 12, in 1809 in a humble, one-room log cabin in southeast Hardin County, Kentucky. Americans will be honoring their 16th president this coming Monday on President’s Day, which commemorates both Lincoln’s and George Washington’s birthdays.

Notably, President Lincoln‘s humble origins have long served as anecdotal evidence that anyone can pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, regardless of circumstance, and make something of themselves.

Apart from having parents who were uneducated farmers, his family lost their home when he was seven, and his mother died when he was nine. After a few other moves and harsh winters, Abe finally decided to strike out on his own at the age of 22, canoeing down the Sangamon River to the village of New Salem. Later that year, he was hired to take goods to New Orleans via flatboat on the Sangamon, Illinois and Mississippi rivers.

Along this journey into adulthood, Lincoln had all but 18 months of formal schooling, and he was largely self-educated and an avid reader. With great political aspirations in mind, he eventually taught himself law and was admitted to the Illinois bar in 1837 at the age of 28. He went on to serve four terms in the state legislature and one term in the U.S. House of Representatives before he was elected President of the United States in 1860.

Much like President Obama is attempting to do today, ultimately Lincoln successfully led the country through one of its greatest internal crises, the American Civil War, successfully preserving the Union and ending slavery.

Thus, today, perhaps it is no mystery that Barack Obama has consciously chosen to follow in Lincoln’s footsteps every step of the way, ensuring that that Americans understand that he is honoring and hopefully building upon the strength and accomplishments of one of this country’s greatest leaders. (For more on this see Obama looks to Lincoln while launching presidency, AP, 2/12/09)

Alas, as the Civil War drew to a close, Lincoln was assassinated on April 14, 1865 and became one of America’s first martyrs in the name of freedom and equality of all men.

"I leave you, hoping that the lamp of liberty will burn in your bosoms until there shall no longer be a doubt that all men are created free and equal."
The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume II, "Speech at Chicago, Illinois" (July 10, 1858), p. 502.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

You’re So Damn(ed) Sensitive!

Wearing A Heart of Thorns
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

Lasciate ogni speranza voi ch'entrate
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
Dante Alighieri, The Inferno, Canto III, line 9

You’re So Damn(ed) Sensitive!
New York City, February 4, 2009:

Why do we become more sensitive as we delve deeper into love?

I’ve been asking myself this question a lot lately because I wanted to understand the human inclination to get angry, jealous or annoyed with those we love, more so than those we merely like.

I find it particularly unsettling whenever I react negatively or emotionally to a joke that someone I love makes, one which once would have made me laugh, but now only piques me the wrong way. In my head, I know it is “only a joke,” but in my heart it feels heavier somehow.

What bothers me even more about my reaction is that I know very well that the same joke told by someone else I may merely like, might actually make me like that person even more.

While contemplating this phenomenon, it occurred to me why we tend to err in ways that seem contrary to what they should be. For I realized that once we learn to love someone dearly and deeply we also tend to host hopes of a future with them, and thus we invest our feelings, time, resources, creativity, thoughts, hope and dreams in them. As a result, we endow our relationship with meaning; we make our relationship more meaningful and more valuable with the investment of all these things. In turn, the smallest things begin to mean a lot more than they would otherwise mean with others less significant to us.

We get so wrapped up in our willingness to place all our eggs in one basket, that if an egg cracks or even moves slightly, we sometimes become alarmed that our ideal gathering of life and love into one person is being changed or challenged in a way that disturbs our status quo of sentiment somehow.

In comparison, when we deal with colleagues, distant relatives, good friends we barely see, or people we are merely dating and “trying out for size,” we are less likely to be riled by the small stuff, we brush off the pieces of lint and immediately forget about the fluff, because we know that our interactions are infrequent enough and our investment in them so insignificant that their potentially offensive opinions, thoughts, words and actions mean a lot less to us than those we’ve chosen to love completely.

It is quite amusing to think that ideally we should be giving our loved ones the most leeway instead, that we should let them make us laugh more than others, especially since, quite often, this is one of the very reasons we often come to love them so much in the first place.

Alas, there is no real logic to love, for love does not abide by the rules of reason. For as much as we sincerely want those we love to be free and uninhibited to be who they are, true love is also unreasonable and possessive—and it wants everything to be and remain as perfect as we have come to see them.

Love demands perfection especially when you’ve decided to give it your all; especially when you’ve made sacrifices that you wouldn’t otherwise make for others; especially when you envision a future with this person.

Hence, the quips and quirks of falling in love tend to become the barbs and brambles of the relationship over time. Hence, little jokes prick like thorns sometimes, even if they weren’t meant to, even if a year ago the gibe and attention would have made you feel more wanted somehow.

Alas, love is stupid that way.

Yet, in a very beautiful way, it is also much smarter than reason will ever be.

Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connait point.
Love has its reasons, which reason cannot understand.

Blaise Pascal

Monday, February 2, 2009

Where They Would Like To Go— Together

Breaking The Rules
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

This past weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to retreat for a day each with two good friends on separate occasions. Both times turned out to be delightful chances to share, explore and understand the nature of relationships, especially as they pertain to romantic relationships between men and women.


Yesterday, I had the pleasure of going hiking in the Harriman State Park with Staci Jon and Nikki. It was a cool 40 degrees when we began our ascent into the snow-covered mountains at ten AM. We hiked for a few hours till we reached the summit at Sunset Lake, which was one long sheet of ice. We then sat for a while to eat lunch while overlooking this magically giant ice-skating rink before we headed back to civilization.

During our hike we talked about and examined a vast array of topics about love, life, and human nature including:

How men and women communicate differently
Why women tend to like older men
What it means to be happy, especially as we get older and face the social
pressures of “success”
What it is like to have children and how parenting changes your life, for better and for worse
The importance of instilling values in children and the process by which they ultimately become who they are, and…
What do we really want from life, especially when we dream about being bold enough to bow out of the rat race, once and for all.

It was an intriguing day of exercise for the heart, body, mind and soul, to say the least.


On the previous day, Saturday, I had taken a train from Grand Central Station, in the heart of New York City, to New Haven, Connecticut, home of Yale University.

I was paying a visit to my fey friend, Adwa, who kindly picked me up at the station when I arrived at noon. From there we spent the day together catching up and reminiscing about our special friendship, one that has only existed for a couple of years, but one that we both believe feels like we’ve been friends forever.

We started out at a local deli where I had a cup of coffee while she checked her e-mail. At one point we got to perusing through my most recent picture posts, whereby I updated her on life with my boys and my budding romance with Chelsea.

For a late lunch-into dinner we went to (Frank) Pepe’s Pizzeria Napoletana on Wooster Street in Little Italy, where we shared an incredibly scrumptious Original Tomato Pie with Mozzarella, complemented by a couple of glasses of draft Little Falls Ale. We sat there at a table made for two in the corner of this popular restaurant smiling in gastronomical ecstasy for over an hour, while hordes of extended families likewise ate and laughed all around us.

We ended this wonderful day by going to Adwa’s favorite book store and café, Atticus on Chapel Street, where we shared a cup of Mexican hot chocolate with a shot of espresso and two truffles—one Passion Fruit and the other Bourbon Pecan.

Recently, I had developed an interest in the work of Anaïs Nin, so I picked up her book of erotica, Delta of Venus, and brought it to the counter where we were eating to read. I spontaneously read a bit to Adwa, discreetly whispering excerpts, while we sipped and noshed at bits of soft and hard chocolate.

I read a few paragraphs from the part where Leila took Bijou horseback riding in the Bois. It suddenly became exceedingly warm in the café when Leila suggested, “Let’s take off our clothes and get on the horses together.”

Needless to say, by the time Leila and Bijou were lying on a bed of moss in the middle of the forest and there were mere smudges of cocoa crème left on our plate, we were both so riled that we needed to stop reading and venture back outside for some fresh air.


However, the most exciting and enlightening part of the day for me was when we went to the Yale University Art Gallery a few hours earlier that day.

Among the highlights was a grand, larger-than-life painting of a woman seated alone before the sea, dressed in a flowing pink gown and crown of gold.

Having recently renewed my efforts to write my first epic novel and subsequently taken up an intense study of the mythology of Muses of ancient Greece as a result, I inferred that this had to be Calliope, the muse of all muses, the muse of heroic poetry who is best known for inspiring Homer to write the Odyssey and the Iliad.

Alas, there was no identifying plaque on the wall, and my retrospective search on the gallery’s website did not reveal who she was or who painted her.

Nonetheless and allthemore, the mystery of it all was a perfect complement to the muse I was spending a whimsical day with, one who has long been one of the most intriguing and enigmatic women I have ever known.

However, the most important exhibit for me was Picasso and the Allure of Language, a survey of “the relationship between art and literature, and painting and writing, in Picasso's work.”

At the farthest reaches of the exhibit I found my holy grail. Inscribed in white upon a bright red wall, there was a quote that read:

“If I begin correcting the mistakes you speak of according to the rules with no relation to me, I will lose my individuality to grammar I have not incorporated. I prefer to create myself as I see fit than to bend my words to rules that don’t belong to me.” —Pablo Picasso, 1946

As the nature and evolution of relationships seemed to be the running theme of my life lately, I immediately had an epiphany. For I came to realize that the rules that individuals play and live by (as individuals) need to subsequently be adjusted, whenever two individuals attempt to forge a romantic union of everlasting intent.

For example, after having been married for ten years, I’ve come to believe that it is vital for married couples to create their own holiday traditions together overtime, if they want the marriage to last.

Holidays tend to be held in high regard, set high expectations, and often reunite family and close friends after substantial periods of being apart. As a consequence, these are times when emotions run high and thus it is no surprise that the holidays tend to have the highest crime rates, which tend to be primarily domestic disputes.

Thus, when couples brace for and face the holidays together, I’ve concluded that it behooves them to try and balance things out by proactively forging new traditions together, ones which may require that they combine and relinquish some of those traditions that each of them have held since childhood.

Picasso’s quote took this idea-ideal a step further for me, because I began to think that if two individuals care to forge a solid long-term relationship, there’s an even more important change that needs to be made than the slash-and-burn, Phoenixing transition of long-held and cherished holiday traditions.

For if you want to make a relationship work, each individual needs to apply this revisionary-revolutionary process to their daily rules, those values that determine who they are, how they act and how they perceive the world and life around them.

It is vital to see that as couples grow together they need to communicate openly about the how, whys and wherefores of their values, words and actions. In other words, each person not only needs to know where the other is “coming from,” that is what are the rules that govern how they live, but both of them also need to be willing to change and or let go of some of their core values, so that they can go forward together as a couple and make rules that they can live by, together.

And albeit, it may seem that the idea of making one’s own rules together as a couple is common sense, it is certainly much easier said than done. Because in reality, it requires a concerted effort by both partners, as well as consistent, candid and clear communication that confirms that each person is willing to break away from their old individual rules, traditions, and habits, and to go forward with new co-mingled values that they can live by together as a couple.

Moreover, couples also need to occasionally share their individual life experiences, so that they have a better understanding of where each person is coming from, and more importantly, where they would like to gotogether.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Pocket Change: Reexamining the Value of Our Culture of Consumerism

Pocket Change: Let's Start A Revolution
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

I just finished reading Stumbling on Happiness by psychologist Daniel Gilbert, in which he concludes that more money does not lead to greater happiness, once one’s basic needs are met.

After someone has enough to be lifted out of relative poverty, it doesn’t really matter if they make $100,000 or $100 million dollars, because more often, more money simply leads to less of what really counts in life.

However, much like Joseph Heller explains in Catch-22 through the shenanigans of his character Milo Minderbinder, sometimes organizations and national cultures are set up to irrationally self-propagate and perpetuate.

Thus, Gilbert likewise concludes that money only makes the world go around because it is self-serving. If we didn’t live in a society that valued its status as an economic superpower, we might all be happier because we’d be working less, have less debt and have less stress.

In turn, we’d have more time to spend time with people simply; more time to pursue activities that do not necessarily require an exorbitant amount of disposable income or use of credit cards that are already over-extended; and we’d allocate more time to all those intangibles that count and that we otherwise neglect because we are constantly trying to make or spend more money.

In other words, if we made an effort to spend less money, we might end up much happier in the end.

Today, with the dire economic downturn, for many of us, making an effort to spend and consume less is not only a prudent goal, but an urgent necessity.

Thus, I propose that maybe it is time that we reexamine the value of our national Culture of Consumerism. Maybe we need to actively watch less TV, buy things only if we really need them, and spend more time with others, and ourselves at home.

In essence, we need to first become conscious of those things that we unnecessarily spend money on and then we need to proactively not spend money on them, even, and especially, after the economy recovers.

Think about it next time you go shopping for anything—clothes, food or entertainment. Think about whether or not you actually have the time to enjoy or use it all; think about whether or not you actually are making the most of what you’ve already got at home; think about whether or not more actually means less.

Moreover, we’ve got to think about the value of everything we own or possess or store and have to maintain. When’s the last time you used the board games you have stored in the closet? When’s the last time you read all those books you have gathering dust on the shelf? When’s the last time you wore that outfit or those shoes or that tie?

If you find that you have all these things for no good reason, consider selling or better yet, giving them away. Because if you set out to sell everything on e-bay, you’re just using more time to perpetuate the ugly money cycle; whereas if you magnanimously donate your used goods to Goodwill or the Salvation Army you don’t have to worry about setting prices, packaging, shipping, corresponding, worrying and waiting.

Ultimately, you should sit down and assess how you might improve your life, your self and most importantly, the lives of others, by adopting a lifestyle that requires spending less. And then, you should systematically, over time, set out to change your life accordingly.

Over time, if we make an effort to be less materialistic as individuals, together we can ultimately change the culture that pressures us into proving our net worth. And over time we will improve our way of life by demonstrating that what is most important is that we have a grasp on what we are and not what we have.

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
Ralph Waldo Emerson


Check out 25 Lessons I’ve Learned (about photography) at

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

What Do Women Want? Understanding The Fluidity of Female Desire

What Do Women Want? Understanding The Fluidity of Female Desire
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

*Photo originally posted June 16, 2007, Un Deux Trois

What Do Women Want?
Understanding The Fluidity of Female Desire
New York City, January 28, 2009:

A recently published article in the New York Times (What Do Women Want?, Daniel Bergner, January 25, 2009) presents a thorough summary of many different recent clinical and behavioral psycho-sexual studies and confirms what many of us all already know—men and women desire differently.

As both rigid scientific studies and informal observations have shown over the years, men tend to draw a narrow-minded physiological path toward arousal, whereas women are open to being stimulated by almost anything, especially if it involves piquing their emotions and psyche.

More surprisingly though, the article seems to conclude that women not only desire differently, but who they desire is significantly different too. For recent studies show women who proclaim to tender only heterosexual inclinations (i.e. desire toward men only), may actually be in denial, as the results of measured vaginal transudation counters what the test subjects otherwise report verbally.

Research also found that men with high sex drives report a greater polarized pattern of attraction than most males (that is, heterosexual men are much more attracted to women than any inclination toward men, and likewise, homosexual men, are much more attracted to men than any inclination toward woman ).

However, this is NOT the case for women. Because in women the opposite is generally true: the higher the sex drive, the greater the attraction to both sexes.

That said, I also recently read a piece in Psychology Today (Finding the Switch: Homosexuality may persist because the associated genes convey surprising advantages on homosexuals' family members, May/June 2008) that argues that homosexuality may be a result of evolution.

As a result, it is argued that women have gay sons because it is to their advantage, because they will "protect" them, so to speak (i.e. they will never leave their mothers and will always love them...). The article also notes that women with a greater sex drive, often had a higher dose of testosterone (thus, more likely to have the same inclinations as a man so to speak) and thus were more likely to have gay sons.

Last week’s New York Times article also reports that there is a female equivalent of Viagra on the way called Flibanserin. “The medication was originally meant to treat depression — it singles out the brain’s receptors for the neurotransmitter Serotonin. As with other such drugs, one worry was that it would dull the libido. Yet in early trials, while it showed little promise for relieving depression, it left female — but not male — subjects feeling increased lust.”

That said, my personal experience has been, that within a certain demographic of women, aged roughly between 24-42, (see A Little Love and Affection (Is All We Need) for more on this controversial theory), lust is occasionally, if not often, driven by the desire to procreate…

In other words, I M U S T H A V E B A B Y!

As much as men (mostly) make fun of this nagging desire, in a few frank conversations I’ve had with women of this particular sector, it appears that this desire is actually quite real and physiologically (esp. hormonally) driven.

Thus, albeit the makers of Flibanserin are not being forthcoming as to what neurological receptors they are tapping or blocking, I would infer that it could very well be whatever ever causes baby fever.


Getting back to the basis of basic desire, the article also cites studies that conclude “men may rely more on such physiological signals to define their emotional states, while women depend more on situational cues.”

In other words, women are more sensitive to the people and world around them, they don’t have to be hit in the head to get a clue. Phrased differently, later on in the article the author concludes “Female desire may be dictated — even more than popular perception would have it — by intimacy, by emotional connection.”

However, that said, this is only another reason as to why women might naturally be inclined to have an attraction to other women—because women understand what makes women tick—feel good, feel bad, better, whatever. Women know how to make other women feel good much better than men generally do (“Uh, what? I’m like touching her, ain’t that enough?”).

As a related aside, this article discusses the idea that female lubrication is also evolutionary. Citing studies on rape, Bergner writes, “Evolution’s legacy, according to this theory, is that women are prone to lubricate, if only protectively, to hints of sex in their surroundings.” In other words, men should note that just because a woman is wet, does not mean she is whet—for apparently orgasms are not the only signs of arousal that can be faked too.


All that said, in addition to the empathy factor, I’ve long heard both men and women declare that women are simply more naturally beautiful to begin with. Hence, the millennia of art and odes and images that have focused on feminine beauty, as opposed to that of the harder, courser, often more rugged, male physique.

Moreover, as this New York Times piece proposes toward the end—there is something to be said about “being desired” too that makes women desirable to both men and women.

For women have long been perceived as, and made an effort to, make themselves desirable. Men, for the most part, at least straight men for the most part, are not as naturally inclined to be as preoccupied by their looks and their quotient of fatal attraction. Gay men on the other hand, seemingly readily understand and empathize women better and thus their impulse to make themselves desirable.

To support this insight, in a study of visual attention in heterosexual men and women where subjects looked at pictures of heterosexual foreplay, it was found that the men stared significantly more at the females than at the males. However, “the women gazed equally at the two genders, their eyes drawn to the faces of the men and to the bodies of the women — to the facial expressions, perhaps, of men in states of wanting, and to the sexual allure embodied in the female figures.”

To simplify and bring it back home, women simply want to be desired (but then again, who doesn't?)

Thus, as much as many women have, during a certain period in their life, had the impulse to find a good man she can trust, one who will provide a good home and protect her and her children—underlying this need is also the desire to be ravaged against a wall in some dark alley by some tall, dark and handsome stranger.


For the last decade or so, the AIDS epidemic has tainted sex. Subsequently, prevention, in the form or instilling fear and encouraging abstinence, made the natural feeling of desire a monster. Prudence concluded that the Summer of Love of 1969 and the following decade of indulgence, led us to where we are now. Thus, for the last decade or so, desire was denied entrance into the realm of life because it became the probable cause of looming epidemiological disaster.

However, as more and more studies on the alarming surge of STDs are confirming, because people are tired of denying their internal impulses, they are perilously traversing the divide between reason and desire, and have begun behaving in ways that may be worse than when this whole crisis began.

At the same time, people are looking toward alternative means of satisfying their sexual impulses safely.

Thus, I’ve found that some brave women are just starting to explore and accept their natural inclinations toward other women. Since it is perceived to be relatively safer than having sex with men and both sexes usually agree that women are on the whole more beautiful than men, it seems that more women, both young and old, are exploring their so-called Sapphic inclinations and allowing themselves to venture, to go where many women have not gone before, and dip their toes in the forbidden waters of Lesbos.


Twenty years ago, a Greek friend of mine, Phyllis, told me “I think we are all born with a natural desire and love for both sexes. It is only life that determines whether we lean toward one way or another.”

Even since that certain epiphany, I’ve pondered and wondered and inquired about the intrinsic nature and motivations of desire and love in us all.

Having long made an effort to be aware of my own deep-seeded sexual and amorous penchants and desires (i.e. I Love All Women), I have long been interested in understanding those whom I love.

Sexologist Lisa Diamond argues that “quite possibly for women on the whole, desire is malleable, that it cannot be captured by asking women to categorize their attractions at any single point, that to do so is to apply a male paradigm of more fixed sexual orientation…For women on average, she stresses that desire often emerges so compellingly from emotional closeness that innate orientations can be overridden. This may not always affect women’s behavior — the overriding may not frequently impel heterosexual women into lesbian relationships — but it can redirect erotic attraction.”

Thus, I’d be interested to hear from you and what you discern to be the truth underlying desire.

What do you think?

Do women want more women?

Do women desire differently than men? If so, how?

My enquiring mind wants to know…

“The Baroness has joked that she has helped my sex life. It’s possible, not because I’m binding or getting bound, but because that world can teach you a lot about being open about desire.”
Daniel Bergner (from Surveying the Outer Reaches of Lust: An interview with Daniel Bergner, author of The Other Side of Desire: Four Journeys Into the Far Realms of Lust and Longing, by Charles McGrath, New York Times Magazine, January 23, 2009)


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Friday, January 23, 2009

Now, There is Hope

Now, There is Hope
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

Photo: The inspiring view from my office window this afternoon, overlooking Madison Square Park at the corner of Madison Avenue and 26th Street in New York City, U.S. of A.

“If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.”
Barack Obama at Grant Park after his election, November 4, 2008

Now, There is Hope

January 23, 2009, New York City:

I’m feeling post-inauguration glee.

For now I feel, despite eight years of being misled by a confederacy of dunces, we now have a true leader at the helm.

Moreover, he is black.

Wow, how did that happen?

I honestly never thought I’d see the day when we might have an African-American, or any “person of color” really, in the Oval Office.

I just didn’t have that much hope for the American public and I was convinced that prejudice would still reign over reason.

Thank God I was wrong.

Because, now, I feel anything is possible.

Because, now, I feel that indeed we shall overcome.

Because, now, I feel that after 40 days and 40 nights in the valley of death, we can now begin our ascent in earnest to the mountaintop.

Because, now, I feel there is hope.

And for the first time in my life, I actually feel proud to be an American.

Thank you President Obama for instilling some much-needed faith in me.

I’m ready to pitch in to do whatever I can to help this country, and this world, recover.

I’m ready to make an effort to do more for others and less for myself.

I’m tightening my belt, making “less is more” my mantra, and I’ve already signed up to help out at the Soup Kitchen next month.

I’m also resigned to spend less on things I don’t need and more on those things that make life truly meaningful—more quiet time at home, more time reading, more time creating, rather than consuming.

And finally, and perhaps most importantly, I’m looking forward to spending more time with those I love—my boys, my beautiful girlfriend, and all my great friends and family.

Thank you once again for inspiring me Mr. Obama. You give God Bless America new and truer meaning.

O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!
America The Beautiful, Katharine Lee Bates

“What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept, but rather seize gladly.”
President Barack Obama’s inaugural address, January 20, 2009