Dead at the Table

Watch Out Men!
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

Dead at the Table

So, these two outlaws here were playing a game of cards you see.

And they got in a mean old scuffle. They’re a yelling and shouting and a screaming at each other one minute. And then suddenly, when it starts to get real hot in here, I mean broiling, the cowboy with the black kerchief (they called him the black bandit I heard!) pulls out his pistol; then the other one does the same, but lightening-quick; and then, Bang! Bang! one shot right after the after.

So, mister, what you see here is what you got, two shots and both were left dead at the table.

Word is that they were brothers, and they got in a dispute over some lady or uther.

Can never be too careful when it come to them women-folk you know, they’ll distract ya! And before you know it you’ll be fighting over them, even if it is yer own bruther! Dag nab it!

They women-folk ain’t no good I tell ya! Devil’s brew, witching ya all the time with their luuuv-spells and magic batting eyelashes, lookin’ at you like you was Ulysses, hero of the Seven Seas!!

And they make you believe it too! “Ohhh, you’re so strong, and ooooo, yer so this and yer so that…”– meanwhile they’re emptying out yer pockets, and then its your bank account! “Buy me this and buy me that….”

The other night I dropped a whole lot of silver for one of them dames. She kept kissing me and telling me, “Come on now darling, just buy me one more drink! Just one more…?”

I tell her, “Look darling you’re depleting me of my life savings."

Quick as silver, she bats them long and lovely lashes, puts her hands on her hips and with a wicked smile wiggles me a little witchy dance, “Well, I’m an expensive date you know!”

“Yeah, I know, but are you worth it?” I countered, “Am I gonna be able to take you home tonight?”

She just smiled, wicked and all, bewitching me, and she replies with a wile that was a mile long, “Just buy me another drink cowboy, and put you’re pistols back in your pockets! I just need one more drink…”

Smiling all innocent and all..Jeessh.

So, of course, what did I do? Well, I bought her another drink of course. I felt like I was back at the gold rush again. All excited and all, panning in the stream, looking for that magic gleam in her eyes, but this time it wasn’t the stream I was dreaming about, it was this little sass of a lass called Lydia. Ol’ Lydia! What you do to me! Oooo, eeeee!

Anyway, they’re man-eating sirens I tell ya, every one of them! At least, all the pretty ones are…I know cause Lydia ate me alive, swallowed me right up!

But no, we don’t learn do we? Even after being swooned and tormented over and over again, we just continue looking, standing on the corner watching all the girls by…waving our fishing poles, hoping one of them is hungry enough to take a bite.

So, then when we got them - and they really got us - and were listening to them (or at least pretendin’ to, you know what I mean men? Snicker, snicker) we get sucked in anyway! Pulled in like a sucker!

Dag nab it!

Evil, just plain evil.

So, careful out there fellas, because they’re all out to get ya; and if one of them don’t do you in, you’ll probably end up like these two men, killin’ each other over a little ol’ lady friend. Shame, shame I tell ya, what a shame….



You’ve to know when to hold ‘em
Know when to fold ‘em
Know when to walk away
Know when to run.

You never count yer money
when you’re sittin at the table
They’re be time enough for counting
When the dealin’s done!

- The Gambler, Kenny Rogers -