I Need Practice

I Need Practice
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

November 29, 2007, New York City, NY:

I Need Practice

I had to look in the mirror to practice my smile this morning.

Lately, it just hasn’t come naturally.

Jane attributes it to the weather, the change of seasons, waking in the obliquity of the ecliptic.

Wallowing, I’d like to think it’s more; I’d like to believe I can blame it on the job, the life changes, the uncertainty and the lingering literary disappointment that just won’t go away.

Yet, such sorrow doesn’t make sense in light of all that I’m blessed with.

I know that, I know this.

Yet, even after reminding myself of my distinct fortune, I find myself struggling to smile.

The lips turn, but my solemn eyes belie otherwise.

There’s no teeth showing either. When I’m truly happy pupils sparkle and whites shine.

Besides, yesterday was an unusually long and arduous day for me—I survived one berating after another.

However, I remain confident that I’ll get over it. It’s just another bump in the road, I’m sure of it.

“Some people greet the morning with a smile, but it's more natural to protest its presence with sleepy sulkiness. "Who asked you to come again?" we feel like saying to it, as if it were a most unwelcome guest.”

— Brendan Francis —