It Depends

It Depends
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

"...the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not our circumstances."
—Martha Washinton—

September 27, 2007, New York City:

It Depends

Funny how the world tilts on perspective;
how happiness teeters on how you see your situation,
how miserable you can be, if only because you see it that way.

I keep thinking to myself, “You’ve got it good, you’ve got it good.”
But yet, I’m not entirely convinced, I keep thinking, “I could have it better.”

I pass people in the halls at work, and I think, “What am I doing here?”
As I told Stephanie last night, “If I had my way, I’d be hanging out at Walden Pond, alone.”

Funny how unhappiness happens when we deal with others,
when we constantly have to compromise what we want,
sometimes, if only, to get others to shut the fuck up.

I have to work—I have no choice, lest I cruelly and crudely and selfishly decide
to leave my life of obligation; and yet, even after realizing, everyday anew,
that I’ve got to pay my dues, and thus, I accept it by getting up and trying
to get to my desk on time, so I can sit there for the next 8 hours, typing away,
surfing, compulsively checking my e-mail, picking up the phone on occasion,
(punching out poems like this every once in a while, to exorcise the gloom)
trying to get things done, pretending that albeit it's not fun (at all), at least,
I’m getting paid; and yet, after realizing what I’ve got to do,
it's still kind of hard to just do it, without sighing a little,
lamenting, moping, feeling down because I’m not doing
what I rather be doing.

Maybe, I’m the one who ought to just shut the fuck up.

After all, the truth is—I’ve got it good…don’t I?


“That depends on what your definition of 'is' is”.
—Bill Clinton—

*

Forthcoming! (someday) 25 Lessons: The Art of Living, to be published by Cyan Books soon...

Until then, I’m happy to share with you the original 25 musings.